Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize