Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
where does the pee come out of this thing
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
