therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
