Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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