I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
