check it out our google latitudes are spooning
from now on my penis is your penis
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
