We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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