she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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