I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize