god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
