I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
