After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
