Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize