What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
