just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
