Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize