Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
vagina is talking i cant
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Randomize
