At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
