they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
