You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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