Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
