just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
