Umm I'm too high to move.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize