Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
this just has baby written all over it
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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