People with herpes should wear stickers.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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