The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
