do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
