if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
