at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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