Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
