We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
