I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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