it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
