no, he came in my armpit
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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