ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
