So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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