whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
