They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
