escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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