Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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