What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize