She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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