Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
