im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
