when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
