What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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