I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
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