put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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