Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
