Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
