i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
