You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
