Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
