You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
