She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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