i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
