You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
