just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize