I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
