I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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