She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
