i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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