I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
