he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
