so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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