I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
