I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
