just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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