omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize